


what do i do, i like you so much

by rencity



Series: stoner squad!2000 line [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin & Huang Ren Jun Are Siblings, Emotional Constipation, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung & Lee Jeno Are Siblings, M/M, Mentioned Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Mentioned Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Pining, Polyamory, Secret Crush, lapslock, nosy jeno and jaemin, unless...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23030170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rencity/pseuds/rencity
Summary: ever since that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about his two best friends in a more-than-best-friends sort of way.he had come to the tragic realization that he had caught feelings.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: stoner squad!2000 line [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554319
Comments: 7
Kudos: 196





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first chaptered fic i've ever written so bear with me please lol 
> 
> title from angel by nct 127
> 
> hope you enjoy!!

renjun was having a bit of a crisis.

ever since  _ that  _ night, he couldn’t stop thinking about his two best friends in a more-than-best-friends sort of way. 

at first, he thought it was just some weird type of infatuation. he hadn’t kissed anyone like that in a long time, after all. wasn’t it natural to get a little attached? 

but when his “infatuation” persisted over the course of about a month, he knew he was in trouble. 

he had come to the tragic realization that he had caught feelings.

don’t get him wrong, he tried to make himself believe he just wanted more physical affection or something and that it had nothing to do with jaemin and jeno. but whenever jaemin pouted at him or jeno gave him a blinding smile, he found that his heart always sped up a little and his stomach twisted in a  _ that’s so fucking disgusting… do it again  _ kind of fashion.

he had honestly been worried this would happen. he’s had these gross i-might-like-like-you symptoms before, but always somehow managed to shut them off before it was too late. but apparently they had just been piling up, because once he was kissed breathless by the both of them he knew he didn’t stand a chance of making it out alive.

he wanted to kiss them whenever he felt like it. maybe even hold their hands if he was feeling risky.

considering renjun hadn’t had a crush on someone in quite a while, or had a crush on  _ two _ someones at the same time ever, he was at a loss over what to do. ignoring it had failed and confessing would probably ruin their friendship, so now after a month of pining he thought  _ fuck it  _ and opted for the last resort:

avoiding his friends like the plague and burying his feelings so deep within himself you couldn’t dig it out with a pickaxe. 

it was going fine at first. he kept himself busy with classes and staying in the library studying until he felt like he was gonna pass out in order to avoid being home and running into jeno and jaemin. it was finals week next week anyway, so he wasn’t  _ really  _ lying about having to study. he felt a little lonely without them constantly bothering him, but whatever. 

renjun was currently at the library, tucked into a desk in a corner and pretending to study art history but actually scrolling through twitter and waiting for it to get late enough that his roommates would be asleep (or super stoned) when he got home. 

he did hate being apart from them so much these days, but maybe not seeing them all the time would make him stop thinking about jeno’s pretty eyes and jaemin’s charming smile. or about jeno’s biceps and jaemin’s broad shoulders. or jeno’s-

his wandering thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating in his hand. the contact name  _ nana  _ flashed on the screen and renjun contemplated ignoring it, but thought it might be serious since jaemin wasn’t usually one to call.

renjun answered the call and waited a second before breathing out a tired “hey”.

“ _ where the fuck have you been, jun? _ ” jaemin sounded more worried than angry, “ _ jeno and i have been worried about you coming home so late. _ ” renjun couldn’t help but feel a little guilty, and he also couldn’t help the butterflies that started flapping around in his stomach at the idea of jaemin and jeno worrying over him.

“it’s only 11,” renjun couldn’t think of a better reply. he hadn’t had a verbal conversation with jaemin in two days, so he didn’t really know what to say.

“ _ yeah, which is like way past your bedtime! _ ”

“i don’t have a bedtime, i’m grown.”   


“ _ don’t act like you don’t sleep early _ ,” jaemin scolded, “ _ at least tell me you’ve eaten. _ ”

“oh,” he had sort of forgotten about that in the midst of starring in his own personal tragic comedy, “no?”

“ _ where are you? i’m bringing you food, _ ” renjun heard shuffling on the other end of the line and could only assume that jaemin was getting ready to bolt out of the apartment.

“no, you’re not,” renjun couldn’t see jaemin! not now! he was just starting to maybe kind of a little bit get over him, so jaemin bringing him food in the middle of the night even though he was upset at renjun for staying out late would  _ not  _ be good for his poor little heart.

“ _ tell me where you are. _ ”

“no!” renjun said a bit too forcefully, and probably a bit too loud for the library’s quiet atmosphere. it was silent for a moment before he said, “i’ll just come home.” he was too weak to resist. this was bad.

“ _ good! _ ” jaemin cheered, “ _ i’ll have food ready when you get back!” _

“ok,” renjun sighed in defeat, “see you.”

“ _ bye, junnie! _ ” then the signature click of the phone being hung up rang through renjun’s ears.

of course he would also fail at the “completely avoiding my problems” technique.

he begrudgingly started packing up his backpack and got ready to head home.

the short drive back to the apartment was filled with endless thoughts of  _ what if they’re mad at me  _ and  _ what the fuck am i supposed to say if they ask what’s wrong. _ renjun thought jeno and jaemin had every right to be upset with him considering he had been ignoring them for days, but there was no way in hell he could tell them about his current predicament.

he somewhat managed to calm his thoughts, knowing jeno and jaemin were too sweet to hold a grudge against him, and they probably wouldn’t ask what his issue was.

though he had just gotten a hold of himself, when renjun arrived at the apartment he almost bolted right back out.

he walked in to see jaemin and jeno sitting on the couch quietly conversing over the coffee table that was covered in various to-go boxes. he knew exactly what they contained. he wanted to throw up.

“jun!” jaemin exclaimed, jumping up from the couch. he looked like he wanted to run over and capture him in a bone-crushing hug, but he held himself back, “i thought that maybe something was wrong since you hadn’t been coming home, but i didn’t wanna pry cause jeno says not everything is my business, and even though we don’t know if there’s something wrong we ordered chinese.” jaemin glanced at jeno like he was looking for reassurance, then back to renjun.

renjun just stood there in shock. he spent the last two days avoiding his best friends even though they did nothing wrong, refused to tell them what his problem was, then acted like a bitch on the phone and yet he still came home to his favorite comfort food that they usually only ordered when renjun felt like his world was about to collapse. he did _not_ deserve them.

“good fucking god,” renjun groaned as he forced his shoes off and threw his bag down. 

he walked over to the couch and gave jaemin the hug he was waiting for, mumbling a “thanks” into his chest. 

“you don’t have to tell us anything, but we’re here for you,” jeno spoke from the couch and gave him  _ that  _ smile. the one that said  _ everything is ok.  _ the one that made renjun want to melt into a puddle and evaporate.

he broke free from jaemin and plopped onto jeno’s lap, throwing his arms over his shoulders. 

“i don’t deserve you guys,” renjun voiced.

“yes the fuck you do, are you crazy?” jaemin sat next to them and started rubbing renjun’s back, “you deserve like, everything.”

“i agree,” jeno said as he pulled back from the hug, “let’s eat before the food gets cold, huh?” renjun slid off his lap and jaemin handed him a pair of chopsticks.

he really needed to make a phone call.


	2. Chapter 2

when he woke up the next morning, renjun walked into the kitchen to find a box of pastries from his favorite bakery and a cup of coffee from the cafe next to it. on top of the box was a note that read “ _ nana and i will probably be out all day. don’t forget to eat! - jeno♡  _ ”. 

renjun sighed out a “fuck” and went to grab a plate.

after he grabbed a couple of different breads and mixed some sugar into the coffee, he sat down on the couch and pulled his phone from his hoodie pocket.

he still needed to make that phone call and now was as good as ever. so he scrolled to find the contact he needed, pressed the ‘call’ button, and waited.

when the call picked up, he didn’t even wait for a hello before starting with:

“ge.”

“ _ renjun _ ?” sicheng became instantly worried at his tone, “ _ is everything ok? _ ”

the last thing renjun wanted to do was talk about his feelings, but at this point he felt like he was going to explode. he couldn’t talk to hyuck cause he had the biggest fucking mouth ever, meaning he couldn’t talk to mark because then it would get to hyuck anyway. and he certainly couldn’t talk to doyoung because, well that would be awkward as fuck, meaning he also couldn’t talk to jaehyun because then it would get to doyoung anyway. 

so the obvious choice was his favorite (and only) big brother.

while he didn’t really want to discuss his (lack of) love life with the guy who helped change his diapers, sicheng was wise as hell, and always knew what was best for him.

“i need some… advice,” renjun wasn’t exactly sure how to talk about this, considering he hadn’t come to sicheng with pining problems since he had a crush on that cute girl from his middle school art class who always wore platform sneakers and fluffy cardigans.

“ _ you know i can’t help you unless you tell me what the problem is, right? _ ”

“yeah, i just-” renjun cut himself off and took a sip of his coffee before continuing, “there’s someone i like.”

“ _ oh! ok, _ ” sicheng sounded confused, but also happy, “ _ that’s good, right? is it a girl or a boy? are they cute? _ ” luckily they didn’t have to have  _ that  _ conversation, since sicheng was the first person he came out to when he was fifteen. but renjun really didn’t want to have  _ this  _ conversation where he told his brother he was highkey crushing on both of his best friends.

“that’s- that’s my problem,” renjun leaned back into the couch and stared up at the ceiling. he felt tears spring to his eyes. he didn’t want to cry, but this was kind of tearing him apart, “it’s jeno and jaemin.” 

“ _ oh, jun, _ ” at his tone renjun felt himself break a little more, and he allowed a tear to slip out.

“what the fuck am i supposed to  _ do _ ?” renjun sniffled a little and wiped at his eyes, “this is gonna ruin everything.”

“ _ jun, are you crying? please don’t cry, it’ll be ok, _ ” sicheng pleaded, “ _ you aren’t gonna ruin everything. _ ”

“they’ll think i’m weird, ge.”

“ _ renjun, stop. i know you don’t see it for some reason but they would jump to space and collect a constellation if you asked for one. so what if they don’t like you back? but they sure as hell won’t make you feel like shit for it. and if they did i’d have them hanged and quartered. _ ” 

“so you think i should tell them?”

“ _ you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but i think it would be good for them to know and for you to get it off your chest.”  _ why did sicheng always have to be so damn right?

“i avoided them for two straight days,” renjun admitted as he sat back up to take another sip of coffee, “and when i came home last night they fucking bought me chinese food.”

“ _ see what i’m talking about? you’re such a dumbass.” _

“ge!”

“ _ you could probably shave their heads in their sleep and they’d be ok with it if you said it made you happy. _ ”

“i hate how right you are,” renjun sat up, pushing his hair out of his face.

“ _ see? it’ll all work out if you don’t keep shoving your feelings so far up your ass.” _

“yeah,” renjun conceded, “thanks.”

“ _ of course, _ ” sicheng sounded relieved at his ability to make his baby brother feel better, “ _ i gotta go cause i have class but i hope i helped. and you should call me more often, i don’t just wanna listen to you cry over boys. _ ”

“sounds homophobic to me,” renjun chuckled despite his aggression. he could never truly be mad at sicheng.

“ _ my boyfriend would beg to differ,”  _ sicheng chuckled as well, “ _ let me know what happens! _ ”

“yeah yeah, later,” renjun heard sicheng give him a  _ bye bye!  _ before hanging up and throwing his phone next to him on the couch.

now that he made his phone call, he needed a plan.


	3. Chapter 3

when jaemin and jeno returned that night, they found renjun wrapped in a blanket and fast asleep on the couch, open sketchbook splayed across his chest. they stood there for a moment just admiring how peaceful he looked, considering the furrow in his brow and the bags under his eyes they noticed last night, before jaemin walked over to gently shake him awake. 

“renjun-ah,” he began running his fingers through renjun’s hair and his eyes fluttered open, “junnie, it’s time to go to bed.”

“oh, you’re back,” renjun’s voice was laced with sleep, “missed you guys,” he mumbled, beginning to sit up.

“we missed you too, jun,” jeno smiled at him and of course renjun felt his heart flutter.

renjun stood up and stretched with the blanket still wrapped around him, then mumbled a “night” before heading off to his room. jeno and jaemin watched him walk away, then replaced him on the couch and turned off the tv that was quietly playing an old episode of adventure time. they sat in silence for a minute until jaemin spoke.

“i just wanna know what’s wrong,” he whispered without looking at jeno. he leaned back and ran a hand down his face, “did we do something?”

“jaem,” jeno sighed and scooted closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, “you know renjun. if he doesn’t want us to know yet, there’s no way we’re finding out until he’s ready.”

“i know,” jaemin leaned into jeno’s embrace, “i just wanna make him feel better,” he finally looked over to jeno with a look on his face that was absolutely pitiful.

“and we can’t do that until we know what’s wrong. which we won’t until he says something,” jeno sighed in defeat, because even though he was doing his best to comfort jaemin, he had to agree. renjun usually told them everything, so what was the deal now? what could he have been hiding?

“he’s so fucking stubborn it’s gonna take at least another week,” jaemin groaned, then sat up suddenly as an idea struck him, “unless…” he picked up renjun’s sketchbook that he had tossed aside once he stood to leave.

he stared down at it as if it had all of the answers he needed. renjun had a habit of sketching whatever was on his mind and doodling out his emotions. if they could just see what he had been drawing…

“jaemin, no,” jeno firmly rejected the idea. he wanted to know as bad as jaemin, but looking in renjun’s sketchbook without his permission? what an invasion of privacy!

“jen, come on,” he whined, “just a peek! we probably won’t even find anything.”

jeno contemplated for a second before shaking his head no. he couldn’t do that to renjun. but the longer he thought about it, and the longer jaemin stared at him with those puppy dog eyes, he could feel himself weakening. sure it was sort of crossing a line but if it meant they could help renjun then it could be worth it! don’t ask for permission, just ask for forgiveness is what they say, right?

“i hate you,” jeno grumbled as he snatched the sketchbook from jaemin’s hands and opened it to the last used page.

they both stared in confusion at the page that was covered in not sketches or doodles, but filled from top to bottom with… notes? a plan? a diary entry? all of which could reveal everything they needed to know, except it was written entirely in chinese. of course renjun would outsmart them before they even had a chance to be nosy.

“fuck,” jaemin muttered, “maybe i should’ve paid attention when he tried to teach us mandarin in high school.”

“i have an idea,” jeno looked up from the book to jaemin.

“uh oh.”

“how about we phone a friend?”

jaemin stared in confusion as he let the gears turn in his head for a second. aside from renjun, the only other person who could help them read chinese was…

“jeno, are you insane?” jaemin whisper-yelled and lightly smacked his shoulder, “i know my idea was stupid, but asking his  _ brother  _ to help us spy on him?”

“hey! it was just a thought,” jeno feigned hurt and closed the book, “but i guess you’re right, that’s a bit far.” jeno handed the book back to jaemin, who he expected to put it down and forget about it.

what he  _ didn’t  _ expect him to do was open the book again, pull out his phone, and snap a picture of the page.

“jaemin, wha-”

“just cause i said it was a stupid idea didn’t mean my answer was no,” jeno watched as jaemin typed out a message and pressed send before he could try to talk him out of it, “and now we wait.”

all jeno could do was gawk at jaemin, shocked expression covering his features, until they heard jaemin’s phone ding with the signal of a new message. 

jaemin startled a little and scrambled to unlock his phone. he  _ needed  _ to know what renjun wrote about. however, when he opened his phone his expression instantly dropped.  _ well, that wasn’t what i was looking for. _

“a recipe?” he questioned aloud.

“huh?” jeno joined in on the puzzlement as he took jaemin’s phone and read the message that said:  _ it’s a recipe,  _ “how can it be a recipe? there aren’t any numbers?”

“it’s bullshit, jeno,” jaemin groaned in frustration, “he doesn’t wanna tell us either.” jaemin took his phone back and typed out a  _ thanks _ anyway.

“well if he doesn’t wanna tell us then it  _ has  _ to be about us,” jeno frowned at the thought of doing something to hurt renjun.

“this is so stressful,” jaemin sighed and stood up, “wanna split an edible?”

“please.”


	4. Chapter 4

today was the day for renjun to put his plan into action. he spent the majority of the night before writing out ideas and possible scripts for himself so he could finally confess his feelings without too much awkwardness and suffering.

in the end, he decided he would just be himself and confess in a way that was most like renjun. nothing romantic or extravagant, just an explicit “i like you”.

while sicheng told him there was no rush to confess, and even no need if he wasn’t ready, he felt that the sooner he did it the better. he just wanted to rip the bandaid off and keeping his feelings bottled up kinda felt like shit.

because he had classes today he would have to wait until the evening, and though that wasn’t ideal he supposed it would give him a bit more time to get his shit together before possibly destroying his entire life.

after he got ready for the day he left a note on the door that said “ _ pls be home for dinner. i’m ready to talk - jun _ ” and rushed out of the apartment so he couldn’t talk himself into ripping the note off the door and changing his mind.

renjun spent the majority of his few classes daydreaming of different scenarios of how the night would go. most of which ended unfavorably, leaving him crying with a broken heart or moving back to china to live with his parents. 

he felt sort of like he was in avengers: endgame, where there was only one possible victory out of millions of failures.

in the midst of his history lecture, he was distracted from his distracting thoughts when he saw his phone light up with a text.

_ sicheng : forgot to tell you  _

_ sicheng : *1 screenshot attatched* _

_ renjunnie : oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding _

_ renjunnie : thanks for not saying anything _

_ sicheng : ofc but if i were u i’d say smth soon _

_ sicheng : they’re gonna get suspicious cause they may be dumb but they’re not stupid _

_ renjunnie : yeah ik :/ _

_ renjunnie : im telling them tonight _

_ renjunnie : anyway i’m in class bye _

before he could get a reply he promptly shut off his phone and tossed it in his bag. he knew he would get an earful later, but he was nervous enough as it is and didn’t quite wanna hear sicheng’s opinion about this part of the confession process. (you know, the actual confession part.)

when his classes for the day were finished, renjun decided to head to donghyuck’s apartment so he could stay away from his own a bit longer, as well as catch up his other best friend on the current happenings in his life. there was no part of renjun that  _ wanted  _ to tell donghyuck, but he figured it was important that he know should he be homeless and in need of a place to stay tonight. 

“holy fuck!” donghyuck answered the door after renjun knocked, “i swear i haven’t seen you in years, why the fuck have you not been coming over?”

“just busy, i guess,” renjun shrugged as he stepped into the entryway, “i have the craziest shit to tell you.”

“you know i love talking shit,” donghyuck started to walk toward the kitchen, “coffee?”

“always,” after kicking his shoes off and throwing down his bag, renjun made himself at home on the couch, “where’s mark?”

“class? the store? i’m not sure, i don’t really listen to him,” donghyuck walked back into the room holding two steaming mugs of coffee, and set them down on the coffee table before throwing himself on the couch next to renjun, “it’s like i knew you were coming, i had just brewed enough for two people!”

renjun picked up the mug he assumed was for him and just stared into the black liquid, hoping it would tell him what to say. he looked up to donghyuck with a pained expression, which was met with a look of worry.

“i thought we were gossiping, why do you look like you’re about to shit yourself?” donghyuck scooted a bit closer.

“i’m confessing to someone tonight,” renjun blurted out. he looked back down and couldn’t bring himself to raise his head again, “i’m so fucking  _ scared _ .”

“what the fuck, why didn’t you tell me? i could’ve helped you plan something out!” renjun sent donghyuck a look that said  _ you know i would never ask for your help for anything ever.  _

“i would have told you but the people i’m confessing to would have heard of my feelings by now cause you’re so damn  _ loud _ .”

“people!? renjun, you aren’t trying to be a homewrecker, are you?” donghyuck leaned even closer, eyes wide as saucers. why did he have to be so dramatic?

“jesus fuck, no! it’s jeno and jaemin!” donghyuck’s jaw was practically on the floor and the silence in the room was absolutely deafening, “stop looking at me like that, goddamn.” renjun grumbled before taking a sip of his coffee.

“you’re confessing tonight you said?”   


“yeah?”

“good luck,” donghyuck picked up his own mug and took a sip, refusing to meet renjun’s gaze.

“the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“what do you mean? i can’t wish well on my best friend?”

“you’re so ominous, what the fuck is wrong with you?” renjun threw his head back and heaved a drawn-out sigh, “put something on the tv i have to kill a couple hours.”

“you’re so harsh, renjunnie,” donghyuck sighed but picked up the remote and turned the tv on anyway, “i would think you being in love would make you softer.”

renjun sent him a glare and reached over to smack the back of his head. after all this time he still couldn’t understand how they got along so well when half the time renjun wanted to choke the shit out of him. 

but even though donghyuck was an annoying asshole most of the time, he understood renjun better than most people. and considering renjun didn’t make friends easily thanks to his chronic resting bitch face and knack for being a little too honest, being understanding was pretty much the only quality he looked for in friends.

after an hour of watching we bare bears, mark returned to the apartment and joined them on the couch. when he wrapped an arm around donghyuck’s shoulders renjun couldn’t help but feel like he was gonna throw up- out of disgust or jealousy he couldn’t tell.

he hoped that soon he would have boyfriends that came home and casually initiated cuddling. sure jaemin and jeno spent a lot of time way too close to him, but sometimes he wanted to be held and not just sitting shoulder-to-shoulder like there weren’t another four feet of empty couch space.

“what’d you come over for, jun?” mark disrupted his thoughts, “it’s been ages.” and before renjun could answer for himself, donghyuck and his big fucking mouth beat him to it.

“he was having some troubles with his love life and came to talk to the wisest, prettiest boy he knows,” donghyuck’s exaggerated tone made both mark and renjun roll their eyes.

“you’re very pretty, but you’re about as wise as-”

“finish that sentence and i’ll chop your dick off.”

“so your love life?” mark switched the topic. 

“yeah,” renjun chuckled humorlessly, “i’m kinda confessing to someone tonight and i’m honestly freaking the fuck out.” he fidgeted with the sleeves of his sweater, avoiding mark’s eyes.

“oh!” mark looked surprised, “i’m sure it’ll go fine! anyone would be lucky to have you, jun.” mark reached over to pat his shoulder and donghyuck nodded in agreement.

“i hope you’re right, lee,” renjun blushed a little at the compliment, then looked down at his phone for the time, “damn, it’s already almost 6, i should be getting back.” his heart rate picked up and he could feel that his hands start to sweat. though he stated his need to go, he made no effort to move.

“are you gonna…?” donghyuck urged him to get up.

“i don’t think i can.”

“stop being a pussy,” donghyuck shook mark’s arm off of him and stood up, grabbing renjun’s hands and yanking him off of the couch, “you’re a bad bitch, ok? you can do it, and so what if they reject you? it’s not the end of the world! plus, if you do get rejected, you’re welcome to come over to cry and eat all of our food to fill the hole in your heart. now go get your boys!” donghyuck ended his speech by pushing him towards the door.

“i’m holding you to that,” renjun mumbled as he shoved his feet back in his shoes and grabbed his bag.

“wait, boys?” renjun heard mark call as he walked confidently out of the apartment.

he was ready to get his boys.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter! hope you like it ! <3

renjun was absolutely not ready to get his boys.

donghyuck lived in the apartment complex just around the block from his own, so the drive back was much shorter than he wanted it to be. when he secured a parking space he shut off the car and just sat there staring at the steering wheel for a good five minutes, trying to gather his thoughts and collect himself.

_ there’s no way they’ll like me back. this is a fucking horrible idea. how could they possibly accept my feelings? they’re so perfect and i’m just me. _

renjun felt himself tear up and got ready to turn the car back on and just drive, but he shook his head, dismissing his tears and finally undoing his seatbelt.

“this is so goddamn stupid, i’m acting like i’m eight, what the fuck,” he grumbled as he marched toward the apartment, “i can do this.” he climbed the steps and strode down the hall to their door.

he went to fish his keys from where he shoved them in his pocket just seconds ago, but froze as the door flew open.

“renjunnie!” jaemin exclaimed, dazzling smile and all, “you’re home!” he reached out and grabbed renjun’s wrist, pulling him inside with a force that almost made renjun stumble directly into jaemin’s chest.

“geez, nana, calm down or you’ll rip his arm off,” jeno scolded from the couch, then acknowledged renjun, “glad you’re back.” he gave him that melt-your-heart type of smile and renjun almost threw up.

when renjun looked up after bending down to take off his shoes and place them on the rack, he saw jaemin still standing there, arms wide open and anticipating a hug. renjun stared at him for a moment before taking a step forward and wrapping his arms around jaemin’s slim waist. he rested his chin in the crook of jaemin’s shoulder and wondered for a moment if this would be the last time jaemin ever hugged him like this.

he felt himself tear up for the millionth time that day as his brow furrowed and his lips formed a pout in an attempt to hold his tears back.

“junnie, are you crying?” jeno sprang up from the couch and ran over to where jaemin and renjun were still locked in an embrace by the front door.

“huh? oh my god,” jaemin quickly pulled back to inspect renjun’s features, which looked as if he had been crying even though his cheeks were dry of tears, “what’s wrong?”

renjun stepped back as far from jaemin as he would let him and hung his head, not wanting to meet his or jeno’s eyes.

“i just don’t wanna lose you guys,” he breathed out shakily.

“renjun,” jeno was frowning deeply with concern. renjun  _ never  _ acted as emotionally as he had been the last few days and he was more than worried at this point, “there’s nothing you could do that would make us leave you.” he tentatively stepped closer, hoping renjun wouldn’t keep backing away.

when he didn’t, jeno grabbed onto his hand and laced their fingers together, then guided him to the couch. jaemin silently followed and they sat down with renjun between them.

“jun,” jaemin placed a hand on his thigh and looked at him with eyes full of worry, “please talk to us. you’re our best friend, it’s our job to help you.”

“that’s my problem, i don’t wanna be your best friend,” renjun grumbled. now jaemin and jeno sported matching looks of confusion.  _ didn’t he just say…? _

“you’re gonna have to elaborate, junnie,” jeno tilted his head the way he always did when he didn’t quite get something.

“ok, just- just give me a second,” renjun could feel his hands shaking, and something that hadn’t even crossed his mind earlier suddenly popped into his head, “neither of you are high though, right? cause i’ll jump out of the fucking window if you don’t take me seriously.”

jeno quickly answered with a “no, of course not!” at the same time that jaemin answered with “hell no!” because even though renjun knew they weren’t shitty enough to be stoned when he was talking about something serious, he just had to make sure.

“good, ok,” renjun suddenly stood up and moved to sit on the armchair next to the couch, rather than between the two boys, “i can’t sit there or i won’t be able to say it.” he knew being sandwiched in between his two crushes while he told them he liked them would not be good for his heart. especially if he was turned down.

jaemin and jeno nodded in understanding, then scooted to the end of the couch that was closest to the chair and watched renjun expectantly. 

“ok,” renjun closed his eyes, took a deep breath and just went for it, “i like you. both of you.” a beat of silence before jeno spoke.

“like, as in…”

“as in i don’t want to be your best friend because i want to be your boyfriend.” renjun finally opened his eyes but refused to look up from his lap, “i understand if neither of you feel the same, or if you hate me now, or think i’m weird, but i couldn’t keep it bottled up anymore.” renjun released a big sigh of relief when he was finished. Though he was terrified, It felt good to finally get it out.

the silence was broken when jaemin fucking giggled _. _

renjun’s head snapped up to see jeno with a shocked face, and jaemin hiding an insanely wide grin behind his hand.

"are you- are you laughing at me?" at the same time that renjun was glad neither of the boys looked upset or disgusted, how could jaemin  _ laugh  _ at him? he just bared his heart and soul!

"oh my god, no!" jaemin waved his arms in denial, "this is great! right, jeno?” he looked over hopefully and nudged him a little. 

“it is?” renjun voiced his confusion.

he was never the type to outright confess to someone and he just confessed to his best friends, one of whom responded by laughing, and the other who responded with stunned silence. and it was “great”? this wasn’t making much sense at all.

“you’re not joking, are you?” jeno finally spoke up, “like, this isn’t some prank that hyuck put you up to or something?”

“what?” now he was even  _ more  _ confused if that was possible, “what does hyuck have to do with this?” 

“well, our sweet renjun,” jaemin reached over to hold his hand and give him a disgustingly kind and sincere gaze, “we’ve  _ both  _ liked you for quite a bit now, to be honest.”  _ is he blushing? _

“what the fuck?” renjun could not breathe.

“we told hyuck a while ago because we thought maybe he could help us out? i don’t know, looking back at it all he did was laugh at us and say you don’t do romance,” jaemin took a deep breath, then continued, “but since he’s the closest to you after us two, we were kinda hoping you would tell him you liked us and then he would give us a green light to ask you out.”

“ _ what the fuck? _ ” renjun repeated for emphasis.  _ hyuck knew? and didn’t tell me? i’ll fucking kill him. _

“honestly,” jeno picked up, “jaem and i confessed to each other a while ago when we were stoned as hell.” he chuckled, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“we just didn’t think it was right to start dating cause we liked you too and didn’t wanna date without you,” jaemin added, “so we kind of just buried everything cause we never thought you would like us back. but now here we are! that’s why this is great!” he squeezed renjun’s hand, which he had yet to let go of. renjun needed to process. 

“jun? you ok?” jeno had that concerned look on his face again as renjun stared at him and jaemin, wide-eyed and jaw dropped.

and then renjun started crying.

he had spent the last 24 hours hyping himself up to get turned down, and now he had both jeno and jaemin saying they liked him back? this couldn’t be real.

“holy shit, renjun, what’s the matter?” jaemin hurriedly slid off of the couch and knelt in front of renjun, who had let go of him to bury his face in his hands and was full on sobbing. jeno rushed to his other side.

“i’m just- this is insane!” renjun cried, “i was so fucking scared, i thought this would ruin everything!” jeno rested his head atop renjun’s knee and stared up at him like he was the whole world.

“like i said before,” jeno reached up to pull one of renjun’s hand from his face and jaemin grabbed the other, “there is nothing, and i mean  _ nothing,  _ you could do that would make us leave you.”

slowly, renjun’s tears finally stopped and he pulled his hands from the grips from the two boys and abruptly stood up.

“where are you going?” jaemin was worried that he was ready to bolt. but in that case he was ready to go after him.

“i don’t know!” he plopped his body back down into the chair, “i don’t know what to do!”

“how about you be our boyfriend?” jaemin shrugged nonchalantly and renjun felt like he couldn’t breathe again.

“i think that’s a good plan,” jeno agreed.

“how are you two so chill about this?” renjun was draped limply on the chair and staring at the ceiling like it would tell him what to say.

“why are you freaking out?” jaemin stood and sat right on renjun’s lap. he wiped off the remaining tears from renjun’s face and looped his hands around renjun’s neck, pulling him to sit up, “we like you, you like us. let’s be boyfriends.”

renjun’s heart was beating way too fast as he looked up at jaemin.

“i’ve never had a boyfriend,” renjun blurted. jaemin gasped excitedly and looked down at jeno who was still kneeling on the floor.

“we’re his first boyfriends, jeno!”

“i didn’t say yes!” renjun argued.

“then say yes already!” jeno reached up to playfully tugged on his arm.

“ok, fuck!” renjun conceded. “i guess we’re boyfriends now.” renjun felt heat on his cheeks at the declaration.

jaemin squealed the way he did when he watched cheesy romance animes as he flew off of renjun’s lap and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. he used one arm to reach down and pull jeno up to join, and they completely engulfed renjun between the two of them.

“you’re our boyfriend!” jaemin exclaimed held renjun impossibly tighter, “i can do this now!” he loosened his grip and bent over a little so he and renjun were face-to-face. he grabbed renjun by the cheeks and pulled him in to pepper kisses all over his face.

renjun’s face had never felt so hot in his life and his heart only fluttered harder at the sound of jeno laughing next to him. jeno then leaned in and placed a kiss on renjun’s cheekbone, then nuzzled his head into renjun’s shoulder. these boys were going to be the death of him.

the moment was promptly destroyed when renjun’s stomach growled loudly.

“you hungry?” jeno giggled into his neck and renjun shuddered at the tickle of his breath. 

now that he thought about it, he had sort of forgotten to eat all day amidst his preoccupation with keeping himself busy in order to ignore the impending nightmare of him losing both of his best friends. 

“damn it, renjun, you haven’t eaten today, have you?” jaemin questioned. renjun shrugged, “well now that you’re our  _ boyfriend  _ it’s our job to make sure you’re always fed! let’s go,” he pushed renjun toward the door and dragged jeno behind him.

“you fed me before,” renjun mumbled and rolled his eyes, walking towards the door anyway.

“yeah,” jeno agreed, “we need to take good care of our  _ boyfriend _ . come on, put on your shoes.” he plucked the sneakers renjun was wearing earlier off of the rack and placed them down by his feet.

“quit with the boyfriend thing,” renjun blushed. his heart could not handle this shit, “where are we going anyway?” he bent over to shove his feet in his shoes

“as long as we’re with our  _ boyfriend,  _ it doesn’t matter!” jeno ignored renjun’s request and grabbed his wallet and keys. he opened the door and waited for renjun to go first. 

“after you,  _ boyfriend, _ ” jaemin beamed from behind him.

“you two are such fucking idiots,” renjun muttered with a smile as he strutted out the door.

“sure,” jaemin admitted as he and jeno walked out after renjun, and latched on to both of his hands, “but now we’re  _ your  _ fucking idiots.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're boyfriends now!! i loved writing this and i can't wait to write them as boyfriends from now on hehe
> 
> stay tuned for more of these 3 cuties!
> 
> find me on twt @pixiekhj


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